Ready To Rest

F U world!

I hate your guts.

Leaving you

is just a must.

I sleep to escape.

It doesn't work.

I twist and turn

A body jerk.

Wrestle with a blanket.

Wrestle with a thought.

My head, my chest,

my stomach is taut.

Take a pill.

Take some more.

Roll around the bed.

Pace about the floor.

What can I do?

When will it end?

Ready to say

goodbye my friend.

Sleepless Nights

Why does happiness last a moment
but misery lasts forever?
Why can't memories be enough
when nothing else remains?
No one understands,
most won't even try.
All I want is a shoulder
on which to rest my weary head.
Is that too much to ask?
Is that so hard to find?
Some will say they are there.
But only when convenient.
And some will swear to stay.
But not when it gets tough.
I may be headed for a breakdown
but I'll see it thru such as I can.
Who will be beside me?
How long will we last?

My Teddy

I slept with my Teddy last night.
My Teddy, he never treats me bad.
He never hurts my feelings.
He never puts me down.
He helps me when I feel sad.

My Teddy, he is always there
On him, I can always depend.
He never tells secrets.
He never tells lies.
His love for me knows no end.

I didnt want to leave him this morning,
Didn't want to leave his bed.
He gives me comfort
He gives me warmth.
Even if it's only in my head.

I wish he could be real,
But real people only hurt you.
They are selfish, mean,
And don't even care.
But Teddy is sweet and he's true.

So I had to get out of bed
I had to face the world today.
But sometime tonight
I'll be with him again
And for awhile he'll make it ok. 

For My Nephew, Vincent

To my first nephew and special friend:

We've shared so much through the years.

We had a lot of good times

and together shed some tears.

I remember the night you arrived,

I stayed up late waiting for the call.

A little boy is here!

A prince to be adored by all!

Your beginning was a bit scary,

your Mom sure had it rough.

But you were here and all was right.

We just couldn't love you enough.

I was always at your house

watching your every step.

Even when I wasn't there,

in my heart you were kept.

I'll never forget the school field trips,

the proms, and Wildwood vacations,

communion, confirmation,

and every graduation.

You never failed to make us proud

with every step you took.

With all the joy you have brought me

I could fill up a whole book.

And when you reached adulthood

our relationship only grew.

You became a special friend

These words are more than true.

And now you're taking another step,

becoming a Husband and a Dad.

Choosing Lauren for this journey

makes my heart feel glad.

I wish you years of happiness,

health, love, and success in all ways.

Just know I'm always here for you

until the end of my days.

Escape

Desperate to escape the day,

sleep is almost the solution.

How else can I avoid the pain?

Free from responsibility and pressure?

Tired, so tired of it all.

Haven't I endured enough?

When will it end?

How will it end?

Shall I sleep?

Or shall I choose the unending rest

that will finally free my mind and soul?

Final Thoughts

I'm fit to be tied.

I should have just lied.

The truth doesn't heal,

it's not always real.

You don't want to know

so I should just go.

Does it matter at all?

I'm up against the wall.

I'm damned if I do,

according to you,

and damned if I don't

so I probably won't.

I'll never feel happy.

(Wow, that sounds so sappy.)

Why even try?

Maybe just say goodbye?

I wait for bedtime.

I wait for time to pass.

I wait for tomorrow

and hope good times last.

I hope for a better day.

I hope for a better way.

I hope for happiness

and can't accept anything less

I hope and I hope

But I just can't cope

because it's just another day

but it's all the same way.

Each day is so much pain

I don't want to do again.

I wait for it to end...

for everything to end...

It has to stop right now

or I won't make it anyhow.

It has to stop

before I drop.

Maybe I should,

I probably could.

I've had it rough,

it is too tough,

so I'll just give in.

I will never win.

Just let it be,

say goodbye to me.

For My Son, Joshua

For My Son Joshua

How did I get so lucky

to have you as my son?

You amaze me every day.

I'm so proud of all you've done.

Every day is a new adventure.

We don't know what happens next.

But I know you will always impress me.

That much I know to expect.

Every milestone you accomplish,

every triumph that you achieve,

Whether big or small, I appreciate them all.

There is nothing you can't do! I believe!

As you leave Woodrow Wilson

and enter Bayonne High

There is so much more you will show the world.

All you have to do is try.

Whatever the future holds, I know we will be fine

We will always be together.

My son, you are forever mine.